Lisa Vagge's blog

Georgia Guidestones

After reading this article, I obviously had to go check the place out. Obviously.

After spending some moments in quiet contemplation of the monument, I came to the conclusion that these stones were placed here, at considerable trouble and expense, so that people would think it means something, when, in fact, it means nothing. In short, it is a joke. The people who criticize it participate in this, of course, by believing that there is an ominous quality to something that, again, means nothing. The people who love it participate by assigning positive qualities to, you know, nothing. I participate by going quite a ways out of my way just to sit and think about it. The whole thing may be exactly like life. I am not sure.

Savannah

At Mrs. Wilkes’ Boarding House the waitresses wear aprons that say, “If the Colonel made chicken this good, he’d be a general.” And this is true, this is not a lie. This is the best fried chicken I have ever had. People line up for hours to eat here. And they do not do something foolish.

And I guess there are, like, historic homes in Savannah or something? Yeah, I went in a bunch of those, actually. They are quite nice. But they do not compare with the fried chicken, not in any way.

Montgomery Baseball

There is a theory in sport that the more intimidating your mascot and logo and colors are, the more likely you are to win. I have always thought this theory stupid, but it’s out there. Apparently no one in Montgomery is aware of this theory, because the name of the Montgomery minor league baseball team is the Biscuits. Their mascot is Monty the Biscuit. I cannot even talk about how cute Monty is. We are speaking here of an anthropomorphized buttermilk biscuit with big googly eyes and sneakers and a pad of butter for a tongue. He is beyond adorable. My new favorite mascot ever.

 

The Biscuit theme song includes the chorus, “Bring on the Biscuits and let’s cook.” Instead of shooting t-shirts into the stands, they throw biscuits into the stands. Also, there is a train track behind the left field wall and trains roll by all during the game. Not sure why I love that, but I do. Might be my new favorite stadium ever.

 

Other robots!

Okay, I give it up to Mercedes, they have more talented robots than our robots. But they lack the adorable quality of our robots. They are large and scary, and capable of putting a windshield on a car. Not just any car, different cars. As in, one robot can pick up the appropriate windshield for a car, put some fancy glue on it, affix it to a car, then pick up the windshield for a different model of car, put fancy glue on that and then put it on another car. This type of multi-talentededness is very impressive in a robot, if you ask me.

 

But, again, they are note cute. I admire them, but they are ominous. They are the kinds of robots that you just know will participate with gusto when the machines go all skynet on us.

CMHoF

The Country Music Hall of Fame is really good. I am a little reluctant to say this, as I will confess to not being much of a fan of country music, but there it is. It is organized, it is informative, it pays actual tribute to all the people involved and leaves every visitor with a better understanding of the place of country music in American culture and history. Of course, it is imperfect, it is biased, it glosses over many things and smooths many an edge. But even with no real love for country music, it was an excellent use of 2 hours.The clip of Bob Dylan singing with Johnny Cash was worth the price of admission all on its own.

 

I mean to say, then, that Country Music Hall of Fame is way better than the Rock and Roll of Fame. So, suck it, Cleveland. You may be about to win the NBA championship, but you still do not rock.

 

Jim Beam

Apparently, back in the day, it was common to pay people with alcohol (this continues at some companies to this day, you know who you are). Soldiers, workmen, even farmers would accept payment in some form of alcohol. Of course, all currency must have a method for standardization. In order to demonstrate that a liquid was high enough in alcohol, it would be combined with gunpowder and then ignited. If it burned with a steady blue flame, it was acceptable, and this was considered “100 proof.” You know how sometimes there are things you didn’t realize you really wanted to know until after you learned them? This was one of those things for me.

 

Jim Beam owns Maker’s Mark. I did not know this, and I find it odd for some reason.

Robots!

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I was not allowed to frolic among them. I wanted to. They are so cute and short and orange. But Jon would not allow me to. He said it was for my own good. Which, of course, is always what The Man says when he is keeping you down.

Kentucky Derby

I am a firm believer that the Kentucky Derby is a must-see. You have your Millionaire's Row, where you can find the upper crust of Southern (and other) society, with the huge hats and the fancy suits, people who choose their past times specifically to prove that money is no object. And you have the Infield - the People's Party - where you can find a beer slip 'n' slide and people wearing t-shirts comparing themselves to horses. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you America.

 

During the course of the day, I bet on no fewer than 14 horses. Not one of them came close to winning a race. My inability to pick horses, in combination with the sad state of my pool game, causes me to greatly lament my wasted youth.

roadtrek van

Richard, I got this just so that I would have more opportunities to write blog posts for you.

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portraits of a sweet roll

Frontier Restaurant  - Albuquerque, NM:

sweet roll - jared

sweet roll - aki

sweet roll - lisa